There’s Trouble in River City

River City is in trouble. We’re not in trouble because we don’t have a band and our children are going bad, rather it’s because of our inability to create a place for God in our lives and invite him to stay without running him out later when something better comes along.

As many of you know, I have struggled with consistently pursuing my own spiritual development. This has, in part, led me to the master’s degree that I’m working on.

I have for some time wanted to evaluate my spiritual life, but have not really known how. I know that I’m not where I’d like to be, but, I wanted something more concrete to look at. As a part of the next course, we are completing this type of assessment. The assessment tool is the Spiritual Growth Planner from the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook : Practices That Transform Us by Adele Calhoun. This is a subjective measure since I am rating myself, but it was eye-opening just the same.

We started with a description of where we are in our desire for each of the categories (your turn below). Then, each category had 2-3 thought questions followed by 4 questions to rate yourself. The section ended by asking which of the 4 questions created a strong desire within me.

Part 1

Here‘s your opportunity. Where are you in your desire to:

Worship the Trinity
Open Yourself to God
Relinquish the False Self and Idols of Your Heart
Share Your Life
Hear God’s Word
Incarnate the Love of Christ
Pray Your Life

Here’s mine:

Worship the Trinity	A grateful response to God that shows itself in worship (among other things).
Open Yourself to God	I long to lay myself bare; to give God free reign in the interior of my heart.
Relinquish the False Self and Idols of Your Heart	As I am open, the crutches of the past show themselves as they really are, worthless.
Share Your Life	As I am open, I share my life with others – with words or silence as God leads.
Hear God’s Word	Open myself to what God is saying in his Word.
Incarnate the Love of Christ	Live my open life, doing God’s will, serving, and loving.
Pray Your Life	With an open heart, I pray as led by the Spirit.

Notice this is about desire, not about what I am competent at or what I have accomplished.

Part 2

Here is a sampling of the questions to consider. How would you rate yourself (1-4) on these:

Worship the Trinity

I am aware of God’s presence in my life, confident of his love for me and intentionally celebrate our connection.

Worshipping with fellow believers gives me a deep sense of joy and God’s presence.

Open Yourself to God

I regularly and intentionally make space in my life for prayerfully listening to God at home, at work and with others.

I can admit my mistakes, weaknesses and growing edges to God as well as others.

Relinquish the False Self and Idols of Your Heart

I am able to leave the crowded, noisy world of acclaim and doing behind, retreating into silence and solitude with God and letting him restore me.

I recognize my addictions and compulsions, and am committed to living free of them.

Share Your Life

I have a relationship with someone who helps me grow in my spiritual walk.

I am not judgmental toward others. I know how to make peace and deal with anger in constructive ways. I am not argumentative and contentious.

Hear God’s Word

On a regular basis I am nourished by spending time with God and his Word.

I have a plan for reading scripture.

Incarnate the Love of Christ

I know my gifts and contribute then to the kingdom of God. I am more concerned about building God’s kingdom than my own.

People with problems, needs, sorrows and losses seek me out. They know I care.

Pray My Life

My prayer life is not mostly about myself and my needs.

I am aware of how God speaks to me, and I know how to listen to God and recognize his voice.

Part 3

Which of the categories or questions really struck your heart? Did you find a place where your heart was cold? What will you do with those?

Though this isn’t the complete assessment, it will give you a taste of the richness of this tool.

Too much to process

Well, I'm almost finished with my first class. It's hard to believe, but it's been 8 weeks since we started.

The first feeling I have is relief. I'm glad we're to this point.

The strongest feeling I have is overload - it's just too much to process in this amount of time. Too much reading, too much writing, too much reading others' writing. Too much!

I think for the next class that I'll try to force myself to write weekly about what we're studying - to force me to process enough to put it all in words.

The next class will make that easier (I hope). We'll be studying (and practicing) the spiritual disciplines (meditation and prayer, fasting and study, simplicity and solitude, submission and service, confession and worship, guidance and celebration).

Thanks for taking the trip with me. Love to you all,

Beth

Ahhh, Sweet Rest

Richard Foster, in his book Streams of Living Water, describe 6 streams that we can use to describe our work/time here on earth. One stream, the Contemplative Stream (read prayer) has been the topic of study in my graduate program.

The Contemplative Stream includes solitude, silence, short (one word) prayers, unceasing prayer, and all inclusive prayers (that is the dreaded prayer list).

Some of the benefits include:

Solitude: Affirmation of God as the only source of identity(Nouwen) and compassionate ministry (which describes our ability to "enter into solidarity with those who suffer." Nouwen)

Silence: Guards the fire within (Holy Spirit), and teaches us to speak (at God's leading)
(Nouwen)

Prayers of the heart: Leads the soul to rest (Nouwen), and produces wisdom and discernment (Foster)

Short Prayers: Leads us to rest and opens us to God's active presence (Nouwen)

Unceasing prayers: "Ceaseless interior prayer is a continual yearning of the human spirit towards God." (Nouwen)

All Inclusive Prayers: Another quote by Nouwen, "Through prayer we can carry in our hearts all human pain and sorrow, all conflicts and agonies, all torture and more, all hunger, loneliness, and misery, not because of some great psychological or emotional capacity, but because God's heart has become one with ours."

The theme of rest jumped out at me as I studied this (probably because I'm tired). In all the busyness of ministry, family and life, contemplative prayer leads to rest. That sounds good to me!


I pray you are well,

Beth

Spiritual Formation

"A process designed by God in which we encounter, respond and yield to His Spirit so that we are transformed into the visible image of Jesus Christ on this earth."

That is the definition of Spiritual Formation that our discussion group wrote over the last 10 (or so) days.

Process - we don't ever 'arrive' at spiritual formation, we continue to work

Designed by God - God is the creator of us, the one who woos us and the designer of the path we take to Him

Encounter, respond and yield to His Spirit - our response to God's invitation into an intimate relationship with Him

Transformed - God changes us

Visible Image of Jesus Christ - our service to God on this earth, our relationships, our life is the visible image of Jesus Christ (Jesus' hands and feet) to the world in which we live

I really like the definition that we devised, except ... I can't remember it. It's too long. So I came up with my own definition of Spiritual Formation: (drum roll, please) . . .

"Becoming like Christ."

Nothing dramatic, no flashes of lightning. But becoming like Christ is dramatic. God creates a path for us to walk (or ignore) that leads us straight to his heart.

As we yield to His Spirit, we become more like Christ.
As we give up having our own way, we become more like Christ.
As we walk and talk intimately with the Father, we become more like Christ.


Do we want to walk the path?

Hurrying and Worrying

One of my first school assignments includes writing a narrative of my spiritual life. One part of the assignment included deciding if you are naturally a "Mary" or a "Martha." I am naturally a Martha, but have worked to develop Mary tendencies during while on my own spiritual journey.

Now, there's not anything wrong with being a Martha, unless you get involved in hurrying and worrying. Unfortunately, I spent several years of my life doing just that. I hurried from one activity to the next and worried that I wasn't doing enough or not doing it well. The truth is that I enjoyed all of those activities and they were all good, but I wasn't selective about my activities. I spent time doing "good" things and dealing with the urgent, but left the "best" things undone.

At some point, I realized the futility of hurrying and worrying. I also evaluated my activities based on the values that I wanted to have; God, family, etc. A major shuffle was in order and that is what happened. At this point I do try to live my life making decisions about involvement in activities based on what God would have me do.

Now, no more hurrying and worrying.

In the thick of it ...

School has begun - for the kids and for me.

The kids started school on Monday (along with most of Texas). They are at 3 separate campuses this year, so it is interesting. Thankfully, the schools are only a couple of miles apart. They all came home happy and even excited about the year. I'm sure it will be another great one!

As for me, as with most of my college career, the beginning of the semester brings a feeling of excitement and of being overwhelmed. I'm always excited to begin a new semester (and get school supplies!), but I usually feel overwhelmed and unsure that I can do everything that will be required of me during the semester.

Added to the school work this time is learning all of the software programs that are used for online education. The programs work well, but I have no idea how to use any of them. The learning curve is in full swing right now. I worked for about 6 hours yesterday on assignments (not including the reading) and feel a little better now. I still have the issues of "discussion group" and "group assignments" to figure out.

The good news: I have about 5 people at the university to contact for help (not including the other students). It's really great to have that help available.

The first week is an orientation course that is (apparently) normally done over a semester. We are to complete it this week. The expectation is that we will spend 15-20 hours/week on classwork. Good thing I have been clearing my schedule (well, as much as you can when you have kids).

So I am in the thick of it ... and loving it!


Beth

Happy Back to School for all of you with kids or attending yourself.

It's almost here . . .

School starts in about a week - for the kids and for me. For me, I think they actually have everything ready a week early, so I can start next week. I'm just waiting on my books to arrive.

Work is a blessing. I feel very competent and fulfilled in my work. I thank God for providing this place to work so that I can pay for school. He is amazing!

I received a book from the school that I am required to read before school begins. It is called "In the Name of Jesus" by Henry Nouwen. This books has really reset my thoughts about my personal growth into "Christ-like-ness." I have great hopes for the next three years.

If you would, please pray for me, my heart to be soft and humble, my fellow students (there are a max of 16 of us in the program) and our professors.

Thank you!


Beth