My salvation came at a young age. I saw myself as full of sin and needing God’s grace. I accepted His grace and was baptized. This cleansing of my sin gave me a new life and a new appreciation for Jesus’ sinless life.
Growing in God’s grace came in fits and spurts. Though my commitment to God never wavered, my focus did. At one point, I “cleared the coffee table” of my life and got out of all the commitments I had made (which were many). I committed myself to value the things that God valued and realigned my life in that manner. I recommitted myself to God and again gave my life to Him.
I eventually became dissatisfied with what I viewed as a powerless faith based on rules and empty “hope.” I say empty because it wasn’t based on the power of God, but on man’s (my) ability to obey. (Good luck with that one.) I eventually wrote a “Martin Luther-esque” manifesto of what was wrong in the church, which I promptly shared with no one. I didn’t sense God’s leading to nail it on the doorframe of the church, but rather use it to spur myself to a closer relationship with Him.
Over the last 12 years the fits and spurts have continued. Though I have at times lost my focus, my faith has grown. My growth has been much like the stock market that may go up and down daily, but over time always increases. My goal is to do the thing God wants of me, moment by moment. I want nothing in my life that is not in line with God’s will for me. As one might guess, I do this poorly. Amazing grace how sweet the sound!
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1 comment:
Hey! I came and took a look!
I would say I'm also going along in fits and spurts. But I am moving along a path of more and more maturity. I can see I'm further along than I was 5 years ago.
My salvation came 2 days before my 16th birthday, but I agonized over it for 4 years before that. But then again, I kinda didn't feel like I "got it" until college days, and then again, some kind of turning point has come to me in the past 5 years. I guess those are my spurts of growth.
It's those moment by moment decisions that are a struggle for me, too. But I plug along!
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